He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
