What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
