yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
