ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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