My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
