ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
