waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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