We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
