I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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