you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
