White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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