one two three fourrrrnication!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it's like iHOP with fire
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
