i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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