Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
