I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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