They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
