i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
