Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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