People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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