Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
