grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
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