why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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