I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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