He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
