We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
