I wish i was in the wii world.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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