she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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