Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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