I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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