Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
