got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
