I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
