you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
