dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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