you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
