just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
