is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Everything about him screamed your future.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
