Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My breasts were aching with rage.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My bed smells like the plague
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