Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
