I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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