ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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