Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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