Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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