Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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