he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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