Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
