No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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