Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
