i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
