Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i think my cat just said my name.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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