i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Small penises have feelings too.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
