she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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