I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
