Banned from zoo.
Again?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
