please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
