Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
