its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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