A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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